Because honestly, great things never come from living in your comfort zone.
What made me decide to pursue trauma sensitive yoga training?
1. Losing loved ones to suicide
2. Trying to prevent further suicides
In a nutshell, it has been the overwhelming sense of helplessness that I have felt after a loved one has either taken their life, is contemplating such, or as I am standing by watching a loved one suffer from depression, anxiety and/or PTSD.
Losing a loved one unexpectedly is always surreal, regardless of the circumstance, but when it comes to suicide, there’s an enormous amount of guilt and unanswered questions that I have carried after the fact.
How could I not have seen this coming, they seemed so happy, so strong? What could I have done to prevent this? Why wouldn’t they have reached out to me. The list of questions is literally endless.
I remember this night like it was yesterday, my mom called me to tell me that my uncle shot himself, I was in utter disbelief and complete denial. Not my uncle, he was so loving, so gentle, so friendly, he’d never hurt anyone. The thought of him taking his own life as a means to ending his pain is heart breaking. If only I’d known of his suffering, perhaps there would have been something I could have done? I still struggle with this.
The first time I heard that my mom was hospitalized for attempting suicide, I thought the person on the other end of the phone had lost their marbles. Not my mom, she is the most loving, caring, confident, amazing woman I know. You must have the wrong number. Except the voice on the other end of the phone was my stepdad, so I knew this shit was about to get real.
I have spent the better part of the last half of my life devoted to understanding depression, anxiety, and PTSD so that I can help those that I love. I have spent countless hours eyeball deep in the Compendium of Pharmaceuticals only to discover that the number one side effect of every antidepressant medication that I have researched is…get this…SUICIDE.
I strongly believe that there is a better way and I’m committed to discovering what that answer is. Is trauma sensitive yoga therapy the only answer? No, of course not. Not on its own. However, it is definitely a great way to manage the symptoms in conjunction with your health care provider’s recommendations.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is where my academic interests exist currently, yet yoga is one of the most beneficial paths of self discovery that I have experienced. It is for these reasons that I hope to extend my passion to those who can benefit from what I have to offer most.